The 'rules' surrounding dating have always alluded me. I've been thinking about them a lot lately as I've been doing a little bit of 'dating,' trying to determine what I should say, how I should act, what I should wear. I've heard you should:
- ask lots of questions;
- smile a lot;
- touch their arms;
- laugh at any attempt at a joke, no matter how lame; and
- compliment them.
I've heard that you shouldn't:
- talk about any of your exes;
- criticise them;
- talk too much; or
- question anything they say.
I'm going on what I would consider an important date on Sunday. I've been on a few dates since arriving here, and didn't have much of an interest in the guy I was on the dates with, so I was being a little lazier than I normally would be. I didn't 'date' much back home and I'm not really very good at it. I don't make a great first impression, men tend to think I'm a little weird, I'm either intense or disinterested. But the date that I'm going on this Sunday is a bit different, because I actually am very interested in, and very attracted to, this guy (yes, it is Wickham from the previous post, so it will end badly).
Because I am so interested I have been thinking a lot about how I should behave in order to secure a second date. To be honest we didn't get off to a great start. When he stated that he liked all of the 'blonde girls' from Home & Away (seriously Irish people, stop asking me about Home & Away!) I might have snorted with derision and told him that he was predictable. I may then have proceeded to have an argument with him over this particular issue. This all happened about ten seconds after we were introduced. In spite of this (and in spite of the fact that I looked like a bit of a grub in my jeans, white t-shirt and thongs) he kissed me (alcohol makes people do strange things). But because of this weird start, now I'm obsessing over everything. Should I go casual again? Should I keep up the witty argumentative banter, which is really just part of my personality, or should I keep my criticisms to myself and smile and laugh a lot? Should I try to kiss him again straight away or should I wait for him to do it? ARGH!
But, in the midst of my obsessive torturous thoughts, something came to me. I remembered an episode of How I Met Your Mother (one of the greatest television programs of all time, I'm putting that out there, legend-wait for it- dary). Now HIMYM sometimes offers sage advice (oh, who am I kidding? Sometimes? All the time), and this particular episode was about Ted going on a blind date with a woman who he had actually already dated years before, but forgotten. It was all about how they were reliving the same bad date, and then they decided that they should just tell the other what things they disliked about them, so that they could use the constructive criticism on future dates. In the end, however, Ted comes to the conclusion that they shouldn't modify their behaviour for future dates, because the person that they were meant to be with wouldn't have a problem with it, because that is just who they were as people.
Lesson learnt, I am going to be myself, weird, intense, or disinterested (very unlikely, this guy is gorgeous). If he likes me, he likes me, if he doesn't, he doesn't. I'll survive either way, because some day I might meet someone who likes all of my little idiosyncrasies, and I don't want to start off pretending that I'm something I'm not. So from today onwards, when dating, I'll be myself, and I won't obsess over the minor stuff, because in the end everything works out, or at least that's what I'm led to believe.
The New Bridget Jones,
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